Thanksgiving

This month, several of my friends have posted things they are thankful for each day on FaceBook. I'm not a fan of blowing up news feeds so here it is. First, I am thankful for my beautiful and talented wife. She is an incredible woman, an amazing mother, and reminds me of why life is wonderful every day. I am thankful for my son. Thankful for the opportunity to watch him grow and discover new things every day. Thankful for the sleepy smiles he gives me, the slobbery kisses, and thankful for the incredible feeling I get every time I see his face. I am thankful for my career. Thankful for the chance to impact and change lives and, on occasion, save one. Thankful that this year has provided me the opportunity to not only become a paramedic, but be promoted twice and earn the things that I worked so hard for. I am thankful for my friends. Thankful for old friends and new whom I owe much to. Thankful for laughs and good times, and often great meals. I am thankful for my family. Thankful for parents that have given me a direction and are there to help whenever I need it. Thankful for in laws who always make me feel at home. Thankful for all 100 Schadts, who make every holiday a party. The list may not seem long, but I have much to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.

Decisions....

The summer after Devin and I got married, she was having a hard time adjusting to being home by herself a lot. When the situation was really becoming hard, a gift dropped into our laps. A coworker asked me if I wanted a dog. It seems that the dog was living with a woman who worked constantly and never had time to pay attention to her. After discussing with Devin, we decided to go pick her up and bring her into our family. The day we went to pick her up, I remember her being incredibly excited to see visitors and she seemed very content when we brought her to our home. Throughout the last five years, she has become a large part of our family. She has been a constant companion for both of us when we have dealt with infertility and the struggles of life. She has been a good listener when I don't want to admit I'm talking to myself. She has been a perfect warm blanket for Devin's perpetually cold feet. Never far from either of us, it's hard to imagine what our house will be like without her. I suppose that's why what comes next is so difficult. We both knew that having a baby would inevitably take some of our attention away from her but felt like after only a brief while, she would be worked back into the regular cycles of play and belly rubs. Unfortunately, she's been more left out than I care to admit and I feel terrible. She's taken to spending a lot of time moping and will rarely want to play when I do try to get her excited with her tennis ball. Still, I didn't believe it would be a problem until recently. Zander is becoming mobile and wants nothing more than to play with Lovie. She, on the other hand, is not amused and runs away from him when he follows her around the house. While comical at first, I can tell she has grown tired of the game. It started with a simple growl and today, for the first time since we've had her, she snapped at Zander. No harm was done and she didn't mean to hurt him but the message became clear. Keep this child away from me. I can't begin to describe the range of emotions I feel about this. Obviously, the both of us are devastated. While I don't want to get rid of her I can't, in good conscience, allow her to escalate the behavior with my son. I've spent most of the day considering and researching options that will allow us to keep her. I simply can't think about getting rid of her without being incredibly sad. Some of you may think it's silly to feel this way about an animal but I would contend that she is part of the family. In the five years she has lived with us, she has proven to have a personality, an intellect, and a love for us as well, if that's possible. In many ways, she was like a child to us in the years we were without. So the question becomes, what do we do now? I'm taking her to the vet tomorrow to make sure there's nothing bothering her that could be causing her behavior and hopefully pick their brain about the subject. I'm praying for answers and a plan of action that keeps our family together. I suppose that will have to do for now.

Irregularly Irregular

Hello friends, I know it's difficult to follow a blog that never has any new entries. Several times throughout the past couple years of doing this blog I've made new promises of blogging more frequently and posting more pictures. Unfortunately, this little piece of the internet takes a back seat to all of life's other time consuming activities when you have an all American, rambunctious 9 month old child at home. That's right... 9 months. It's pretty incredible. I think it would be impossible to try to summarize the last several months. So I'm not even going to try. What I can tell you, is that Zander is an amazing, funny, smart, crawling, toothy, chatty, awesome little boy and that Devin and I have a pretty great life. So, "where does this blog go from here?" you might ask. The answer to that question is unknown. I refuse to delete it completely though. For some reason it's cathartic to have a place to write and share. So, stay on board and every once in a while you might get a welcome surprise of a new blog and some great pictures.

The very big trip to the Zoo

A few weeks back we took Zander on his first zoo trip. We were very excited to take him and the weather was perfect for it but he slept the entire time and didn't allow for any pictures. So, with his new routine firmly in place we ventured back today and had a great time.
He saw some giraffes

Spent some quality time with Daddy

Had a picnic lunch

And crashed hard after the adventure was over

4 months and no blog, What's up with that?

Wow. It has come to my attention that is has been almost 4 months since I last blogged. I think it's impossible to get you completely caught up on everything but I can try. Since my last entry, life has definitely been happening. We've been wrapped up in the raising of our incredible son. Zander is now 4 months old and completely caught up from being a preemie. He is growing like a weed, eating baby food, sitting in a high chair, laughing, trying to talk, going to the zoo, riding around in his stroller without the car seat, sleeping through the night, and just all around being the best thing that has ever happened to either of us. If Mrs. Stewart reads this, I'm sorry but I'm tired and run on sentences just make things easier.

Devin has been back to work for quite a while now at Expressions By Devin and Zander likes to supervise. As for me, I've been quite busy myself. I've been working quite a bit and I've been promoted... twice. Starting Wednesday I'll be a Captain. It's kinda crazy. Oh yeah, and I started a company newsletter that most people seem to enjoy. So if you've wondered why I haven't blogged, now you know. I've had a few other things going on. I think I might be able to get back in the swing of updating here more often now that things are settling in to a routine.

Since it just wouldn't be a good blog without pictures here are some of my favorites from the past 4 months.

As Promised.... Cuteness

For some reason we amassed a very large collection of hats for Zander. Here are just a few that I've managed to get good pictures of.
1. Hospital Classic In Blue

2. The Football Hat

3. The Ewok

4. The Polar Bear

5. The Holly Jolly Christmas (Also Zander's 1 Week Old Picture)

Might have missed an update or two

As many of you are aware, Zander decided to come into our lives a little earlier than expected. After experiencing sporadic pains last weekend we were rest assured that Devin was just experiencing warm up contractions and had nothing more than that on our mind as we went in for her 34-35 week checkup. Much to everyone's surprise, the doctor's most of all, it seemed that Devin was dilated and there may not be much time to stop labor. No breaking of the water, no increasing contractions, no feeling that this was really happening at all. Just boom ! This is happening today.

They hurried us along downstairs to labor and delivery where we were placed in triage to get some fluids and medicine to stave off the delivery. After feeling fine during most of those 2 hours we were hopeful that we would be going home and Devin would just be on bed rest until it was time to really have the baby. But Zander had other plans. After 2 hours and recheck it was evident Zander's birthday would be Monday.

More than a million things raced through my mind as we made the short trip down the hall to a delivery room. Knowing the potential complications associated with pre-term delivery I was very close to falling apart. Would he be big enough, strong enough, far enough along to make it on his own? Would he be whisked away to the NICU for treatment I couldn't begin to imagine. It was too soon. When we were alone for the first time all we could do is cry, and pray, and pray some more. For his protection, for our guidance and serenity.

Visitors helped to pass the time between rechecks. I think if we had been left alone to worry we would have drove ourselves crazy. After just a few short hours, an epidural that only seemed to work in her right leg, and visits from the NICU staff to explain what would be happening once he came out it seemed it was "Go Time" as our friend Drew put it.

I won't trouble you with the graphic details of the next part of this story. I will just say that it went very well. And for being able to feel 95% of the pain because of a misplaced epidural Devin was amazing.

My heart raced as the doctors got their first look at our son. The words that followed were the most wonderful words I had ever heard. "This is a much bigger baby than we thought." As the doctor from the NICU examined him he told me that he looked fantastic and for being early they couldn't find a reason to send him to the NICU. I could feel my heart beating in my chest. I couldn't hide the fact that I was crying tears of joy for our miracle. Of course, being premature has it's complications. Feeding a baby thats just learning how to suck was the hardest part of the next 36 hours. (And the next few days at home for that matter) They had already informed us that our amazing Humana would force Devin to leave Wednesday morning because he had been born before midnight. We would be leaving with or without Zander. After an incredible team of nurses at Suburban spent hours with us and with him he hit all the milestones to come home at the same time that we did. It's amazing how things developed. So many things could have gone wrong at each different stage and he was here, healthy, and heading home... truly miraculous.

As I sit here now, in a sleepless night stupor, it's hard to believe we've already had him for an entire week. I guess when you fill your days with visitors, feedings, diaper changes, and an occasional insomnia induced coma time seems to fly by. Today we are taking him to the pediatrician for his 1 week check up. I'm just praying they don't want us to go back to the hospital. Praying that whatever we're doing for him seems to be the right thing. Wish us luck.

Warning! Blogs from this point on will have a cuteness factor of 10+. You've been warned.

October

Now nearing 28 weeks this pregnancy thing is really starting to sink in. Of course we have the normal new parent worries. "Will he like me? Will he sleep at night? Do we have everything ready in the nursery?" We probably have a few, not so usual, worries also. "Will he be switched at birth? Will wolves come and take him to be raised in the wild? Will a movie be made about his life involving priests and holy water?" You may laugh, but there are probably a million more scenarios that have come and gone through the ever paranoid brain of a soon to be father.

I'm reassured by my friends with older children that it only gets worse when they come out so some Xanax is probably in my not too distant future. Being prepared has always been my combatant to the anxiety and I think we are just about there. We have the nursery completed, the house safety proofed, and the major amenities purchased. Devin's baby shower is coming up in a few weeks and that should take care of most of the rest. Hopefully we can amass a collection of diapers to last us well into potty training. That would be nice. Now we just wait.... and wait some more.

We have managed to fill most of our free time with family and friends and adventures to the crazy expensive baby department at most stores. Time does really seem to be flying by as of late. Thursday will be the start of the coveted third trimester. It's still a little hard to believe. With the string of holidays and functions swiftly approaching, January will be here before we know it.

Yesterday, our good friends The Wheatley's took maternity pictures for us at Bernheim. They turned out fantastic. They run a photography business and do really awesome work. If you're interested in getting any type of pictures taken, or you want to look at ours, check out their FaceBook page and give them a like. It's Visual Flair Photography.

August / Sept. Happenings

Well there is certainly much to report since last we spoke. As of this writing we are officially over the half way point in the pregnancy. After some tense moments over the last couple weeks we got some pretty incredible news today. Everything appears to be right on track. The baby is developing on schedule and looks great on the ultrasound. We decided to find out what we're having and are pleased to report that we will be having a baby boy.

It's hard to describe how happy we are that we have made it to this point. After so much uncertainty we can now hopefully relax a bit and enjoy the rest of the wait. January isn't that far off after all. As warm as the weather has been the last couple of days, thinking about a brisk January day is quite nice. The name we have picked out for him is Zander Joseph. It makes me happy every time I say it. We've only known for a little over 12 hours and the child's wardrobe is filling out quickly thanks to the Little Treasures sale we went to today. This kids in trouble already.

In the excitement of all the baby news I almost forgot to report that my paramedic school is finally drawing to a close. I finished up my hospital and field ride time last week so now I just have to go take my national tests at the end of the month.
The timing on it couldn't be more perfect. Needless to say, it's been an exciting time around our household and we're looking forward to the next few months. Thank you for waiting so patiently for updates. Now that school is finished I might actually have a bit more free time to take up the sport of blogging again.

Because I know you want to see them here are a couple pictures of the ultrasound today.

July

Well, the idea of frequent updates seemed doable at first. I realize every 2 months is frankly not frequent so for that, sorry! Anyway, we've maintained a very busy schedule of work, school, and Dr.'s appointments the last couple of months and things are going very well. Paramedic school will be wrapping up in the next month or so which is definitely a big relief. As for baby news, there's not too much news to report. Other than that everything is going well. Devin is feeling much better now solidly into the 2nd trimester. These middle of the road Dr.'s appointments don't give us much to talk about. We won't have another ultrasound until 20 weeks. That will be September 2nd and surely we will finally find out what we are having at that appointment. Bets have been placed and team girl seems to be in the lead. But I'm not so sure. In the mean time the baby's room has underwent a dramatic transformation from empty room to crowded living quarters. I will post pictures later today of the work we've done so far. We'll have to wait until September to get the details going but we're pretty happy with the way it's turning out. More updates to come... eventually. Stay tuned.

-Joseph

And now for something completely different.

If you're reading this tonight I imagine I peaked your interest on FaceBook so instead of beating around the bush I will come out and say it. Devin is pregnant. Yes, it's true. No, I'm not kidding. How? I will attempt to answer below if you are able to continue reading. If that's enough information for you, please feel free to stop here. Thank you for reading. If not, continue on.

A few weeks ago I took Devin to the hospital suspecting she was in the middle of an ectopic pregnancy. Having experienced that before we had prepared ourselves for the eventual outcome. The emergency room agreed and recommended that we proceed with a medicinal procedure to solve the ectopic and prevent any harm to Devin. Again, that is a road we had been down before. Somehow, I suppose by the nature of it being midnight the doctors decided to take another look the following morning and decide what to do. After a very long night staring at the ceiling in Suburban Hospital the next test looked worse than before and emergency surgery was recommended.

It's hard to describe the thoughts that swirled around the next few hours. I can tell you that there was a healthy dose of praying involved. The rest is really a blur. During surgery the Dr. came out to speak to me only minutes after the surgery had began. What I expected her to say and what she said were two very different things. Basically, what they thought they saw, they didn't now. What they didn't see before they don't know about, and if you're confused now, imagine how I felt on 2 hours of sleep. There was no ectopic. Everything looks good. We're going to end the surgery and wait this thing out.

Another night of sleeplessness led to an early visit from the Dr. who said looking very astonished herself, that she is still pregnant according to blood work and you can go home. We won't be able to tell you anything more for a few days. Confused, and incredibly worried we were sent on our merry way home. The yard sale benefiting our adoption was 2 days later. So if you came, I apologize for being forced to lie. We simply didn't have any answers ourselves. We appreciate all the support whether it was donating items, or coming to shop. It was a hard day. We raised a good deal of money and we will be making a donation of part of our earnings to Kosair's art department. We just feel like we need to pay it forward so to speak for the gift we were given.

The following Monday we went in for another appointment where they were able to tell us that yes, she was still pregnant and they were able to show us evidence. Still though, the doctor's didn't give us a whole lot of hope saying that because of the surgery and other things going on they just didn't know what would happen. Again, we were sent home without much. More hope than before, but still confusion. Today, almost 3 weeks later we went back to the doctor and were able to hear the miraculous sound of a heartbeat. It's safe to say that I've never been happier in my life. The doctor gave everything a good bill of health, drew blood, told us they still didn't quite understand how this happened, congratulated us, and that was that.

We have spent quite a bit of time discussing when we thought we should tell people. To be honest, we had wanted to wait. Since she was hospitalized and I was shady in my answers to several questions there was a lot of suspicion and it was determined that it was going to get out before we got around to telling anyone. That would have been a disaster. So here we are, telling the world. A couple of you had already figured it out and I appreciate you keeping it to yourselves and off FaceBook. It really means a lot to us. As it looks, January 19th is our expected due date. Begin praying now for sunshine and fifty degree weather instead of the mess of the last few winters.

The amount of events that had to happen the way they did, in the order they did, and without causing harm to anyone involved is truly nothing short of a personal miracle. Thank you all for the support you have given us through everything, the infertility, the adoption process, and now this. We will definitely be needing the support now more than ever. It's almost time to start the next chapter. Thank you for reading. Good night.

I have realized that blogging falls to the bottom of the priority list when I get busy. That might explain why there have been no updates for the last two months. Life has indeed been very busy. Paramedic class is in full swing and I'm doing every thing I can to stay on top of the workload. I spent several days preparing to have our taxes filed and avoid being audited. The hard work paid off and we managed to come out on top by $1.07. That money is going straight into the bank. With that stressor behind me I believe my ulcer can return to it's normal semi-nuisance status. And that's really all I've been up to. I know it doesn't seem like a lot but I can promise you it feels like I've been busy. Maybe it's that I've been lazy. I'll admit to that too.

Snow day

After a very busy year, the new one is upon us and is promising to be even busier. After 4 years of what was supposed to take less than 2, my paramedic class has begun. While I had anxiously anticipated this for some time, it still caught me by surprise. It's difficult to get back in the swing of taking notes, studying, and debating test questions. Of course, this couldn't come at a busier time in my life. I know, however, that if I don't make it work now I might not get such an opportunity again. A free education that centers around my work schedule is the best case scenario. At least that's what I keep telling myself while waking up early on every one of my off days to head in for class. You may ask yourself how I found the time to blog about it. It's a snow day. And it was much needed.

Just needing to put thoughts on paper

Moments after laying down for bed a knock came at the door. I sprang to my feet, grabbed the nearest object / weapon and followed the barking dog down the hall to the front door. It's highly unusual that anyone comes over unannounced, especially late at night. When I opened the door I saw my parents, standing in the cold. For a moment I considered a million reasons why in the middle of the night my parents would be standing on my porch. I realized before they even spoke why they were here. As the words came out of my mother's mouth, it was as if someone had just set time to slo-motion. I sat there, silent for what seemed like an eternity as she proceeded to tell me that my grandfather had passed away. While it came as no true surprise, as he had been battling cancer and other ailments for years; I couldn't help myself from sitting in stunned silence numb to the world around me.

Growing up, I always cherished the time spent with my grandfather. Listening to his stories of years gone by, working with him on houses for less than minimum wage, feeding the chickens he kept in the barn I helped him to build. When my grandmother passed on several years ago a large part of him died as well. You could see it in his eyes. For years he patiently waited to be with her again and I know that he is there now telling her all about it.

It certainly makes you consider your own mortality when a generation of your family is gone. He was the last of my grandparents. I have always prided myself on how much of him I have in me. My red beard, my sense of humor, my love of story telling. Now those things seem a little more important. It pains me to know that my children will never know him but I will make sure that they hear the same stories that were repeated to me so many times over a pepsi. Through that, he will live on.

An overdue update

With the hustle and bustle of the holiday season I've broke my pledge to update in a timely manner. On Monday, we had our second home study meeting. All the hard work to make the home safe paid off and we passed with flying colors. So long story short, we have the blessing of the government to adopt an infant. As soon as our social worker left there was a long sigh of relief, followed by a joyous celebration, and then it was back to work. We have decided on a placing agency and now the process will begin anew to raise money, pray, and wait.

We have got over the first hurdle and are well on our way down the road. I don't think I could have asked for a better Christmas present than to have this part completed and that worry behind us.

Thanksgiving came and went rather uneventfully. As always, we ran around, ate more than one dinner, and got caught in traffic behind an accident. A fairly typical Thanksgiving for the Prather family. I'm looking forward to Christmas although I'll be working both Christmas eve and Christmas day. It seems like there is a more positive feeling to this years Christmas for me. Looking back a year ago, there was a good deal of hurt and self pity. I preferred to sit around and be sad about what we did not have and forgot to remind myself of the great things that I do. This past year has been a complete change. It's as if for the first time in a while, I'm reminded what a wonderful life ours truly is. And I didn't have to wreck my car and spend a night in the snow with an old man named Clarence to figure it out.

Before I end this blog I have to say to those celebrating the festival of lights. May you have a peaceful and joyous season. And if there are any latkes left over please send them my way.

A Great Big Thank You

We would like to thank everyone involved with the fundraiser. If you donated items, entered the raffle, spread the word on facebook or twitter, we can not thank you enough. We raised a good deal of money and got so much support from friends, family, and complete strangers. A very special thank you goes out to the Sartins who made all of it possible. From the beginning, the support has been phenomenal and we ask you to keep up the e-mails, phone calls, and prayers. They mean the world to us. It will definitely be paid forward.

So Many Questions

As you know our first home study meeting was today. This was the interview portion of the home study. After a long 2 days of finalizing everything, getting all our paperwork finished, and cleaning the house the meeting went much better than expected. Our social worker arrived right on time and was very nice. She put us at ease and talked with us about how her family went through a very similar situation to our own.

The interview was long, and we were asked many many questions. A lot of them I had thought of answers to but there were also a lot of questions I had not even considered. We had discussed discipline and a lot of the major things you'd think would be asked and had come up with what I considered good answers. When she asked what we would do with our child if something were to happen to us I had to say I'd think about it. I guess there are some things that you don't think about until it comes up. I suppose we'll have to figure a lot of things out pretty soon.

Everything seemed to go very well and the months of preparation definitely payed off. Now we just have to have one more meeting where we will have a counseling session and home safety inspection and this part of the process will be over. Our goal was to have to this portion done by the end of the year and it looks like we'll finish it up just after Thanksgiving. Now we can turn our attention to raising money and getting started with a placing agency. One hurdle down. Several to go.

In other news, the fundraiser being hosted at www.alexandcassie.blogspot.com is going very well. New prizes are being added and the support is incredible. Don't forget to check it out. Thanks for all the support.

-Joseph and Devin

Check It Out - Win Stuff . It's that Easy !

We have been blessed with some pretty amazing friends. Many of you know Alex and Cassie or have heard us talk about them and their son Sam. Despite an incredibly demanding schedule they find time to lend a helping hand. We couldn't ask for better people to call our friends.

Starting today on their blog, Cassie has created a raffle giveaway to help us raise money for our adoption. There are some pretty great prizes up for grabs. If you come across this blog please take a few minutes to check it out. The link is www.alexandcassie.blogspot.com
Also, I just want to say thank you to everyone who has left comments, sent e-mails, called, and especially those that have donated items to the giveaway. The support has been phenomenal and we are truly thankful.

Update with Picture's

As you all know the Home study meeting is next week. We are so excited and Nervous but ready for this step to be over with. From everything we've read adoption agencies want families to have their homes baby ready so we needed to start getting a room ready so we can be prepared for anything coming up. I have had my heart set on a Woodland creature theme for a long time now. We decided that a woodland creature theme would work out great for our room since we don't know if we will be getting a boy or girl and its very gender neutral.
Here is the Before and After of the room :

Before



After:








I am in love with the finished product. I can't stop going in there to look at it. We still have a few decorations here and there to put in later.
We won't be getting any more furniture anytime soon until we found out what age range we are approved for and of course what we need. The rocking chair came from Joseph's grandpa. I think he's going to try and refurnish it. Hopefully we'll have more updates soon.

Time has certainly gotten away from me. We have been so busy lately there hasn't been much time for things like blogging. We've been cramming as many things in to our days off as possible to get everything ready for the upcoming home study. Lovie had to be taken to the vet for an aggression test. I'm happy to report that she passed with flying colors. I have to admit, I had my concerns. She did an awesome job though, and really put on a show for the doc.

I had to get another FBI background check. That's the 2nd one this year. The tech taking our fingerprints said I was really good at it. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not. After feeling like a criminal for a while we got that taken care of and in the mail.

The only thing that we have left is our meeting with the CPA to get our taxes in order. This is really the biggie and we've definitely been putting it off. But seeing as our first home study meeting is a little over a week away it's time we get that done.

The first home study meeting will be November 2nd followed by a second meeting and actual home inspection . So in theory we can finally be turned over to a placing agency in the next month or so. It's exciting but then we'll have to figure out how exactly we're going to finance the rest of the adoption. Something on the order of $25'000 . I've been in contact with the plasma donation center and looking in to all other means of financing it. We're hopeful we can find a bank willing to take a chance on us. Otherwise, it might take a while. I'm confident that we'll get there. We just have to keep moving forward.

On a completely different and serious note. It's been interesting to see the reaction unfold from family and friends regarding our adoption. It upsets me when people feel sorry for us and ask our parents how we're coping with not being able to have a baby. When they don't want to tell us good news about them having a child because they're afraid that it will upset us. When the awkwardness is palpable at a family function because all of a sudden people don't know what to say to us.

What people don't understand is that we have CHOSEN to adopt a baby. There are other procedures, and tests, and doctor's appointments that we could do and possibly be able to have a child naturally..... possibly. We have already spent several thousand dollars and endured much heartache and worry over tests and procedures and doctors appointments over the last 2 years.

When we sat down and seriously discussed adoption for the first time it's like a weight had been lifted from both of us. It was something that both of us wanted, but didn't want to be the first one to mention. Since making that decision, it's amazing how much better things have been. The stress level is significantly lower. Our marriage is stronger. And there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Adoption is something that both of us have carried in our hearts for a while and for us, it is the right decision. I know there are people that disagree, and there are those that don't understand why we wouldn't continue to do everything we could to have one of our own. All I can say to them, is that they shouldn't be worried about us. Because we are happy with the decision we've made and believe me, we did not come to it lightly.

This could have been 2 different blogs, and probably should have been, but it's hard to think about one subject without the other coming into play. I know there's nothing that can be done about how people look at adoption. I understand that it puts people in an awkward position. I just wish that they could share in our happiness and excitement. And if they happen to have $25'000 laying around, be generous. LOL

That is all.