Sunday, October 24, 2010

Time has certainly gotten away from me. We have been so busy lately there hasn't been much time for things like blogging. We've been cramming as many things in to our days off as possible to get everything ready for the upcoming home study. Lovie had to be taken to the vet for an aggression test. I'm happy to report that she passed with flying colors. I have to admit, I had my concerns. She did an awesome job though, and really put on a show for the doc.

I had to get another FBI background check. That's the 2nd one this year. The tech taking our fingerprints said I was really good at it. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not. After feeling like a criminal for a while we got that taken care of and in the mail.

The only thing that we have left is our meeting with the CPA to get our taxes in order. This is really the biggie and we've definitely been putting it off. But seeing as our first home study meeting is a little over a week away it's time we get that done.

The first home study meeting will be November 2nd followed by a second meeting and actual home inspection . So in theory we can finally be turned over to a placing agency in the next month or so. It's exciting but then we'll have to figure out how exactly we're going to finance the rest of the adoption. Something on the order of $25'000 . I've been in contact with the plasma donation center and looking in to all other means of financing it. We're hopeful we can find a bank willing to take a chance on us. Otherwise, it might take a while. I'm confident that we'll get there. We just have to keep moving forward.

On a completely different and serious note. It's been interesting to see the reaction unfold from family and friends regarding our adoption. It upsets me when people feel sorry for us and ask our parents how we're coping with not being able to have a baby. When they don't want to tell us good news about them having a child because they're afraid that it will upset us. When the awkwardness is palpable at a family function because all of a sudden people don't know what to say to us.

What people don't understand is that we have CHOSEN to adopt a baby. There are other procedures, and tests, and doctor's appointments that we could do and possibly be able to have a child naturally..... possibly. We have already spent several thousand dollars and endured much heartache and worry over tests and procedures and doctors appointments over the last 2 years.

When we sat down and seriously discussed adoption for the first time it's like a weight had been lifted from both of us. It was something that both of us wanted, but didn't want to be the first one to mention. Since making that decision, it's amazing how much better things have been. The stress level is significantly lower. Our marriage is stronger. And there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Adoption is something that both of us have carried in our hearts for a while and for us, it is the right decision. I know there are people that disagree, and there are those that don't understand why we wouldn't continue to do everything we could to have one of our own. All I can say to them, is that they shouldn't be worried about us. Because we are happy with the decision we've made and believe me, we did not come to it lightly.

This could have been 2 different blogs, and probably should have been, but it's hard to think about one subject without the other coming into play. I know there's nothing that can be done about how people look at adoption. I understand that it puts people in an awkward position. I just wish that they could share in our happiness and excitement. And if they happen to have $25'000 laying around, be generous. LOL

That is all.


Douglas said...

Don't worry....your adopted one is YOUR OWN. Have no fear and don't let anyone tell you differently. This is Plan A, not Plan B or Plan C. Don't be discouraged, just help educate. Buy EVERYONE in your family the book Cross Cultural Adoption off of Even if you do domestic, it's a worthwhile book as it helps people to see what vocabulary the NEED to use and what questions not to ask (how much does that cost, what happened to his REAL mom? etc) and how to help children understand the vocab to use and questions not to ask (he's not REALLY my cousin, this is my adopted cousin, etc). This is your choice and you have nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed. So help us educate the world...and welcome to the world of adoption! We're here for you with much love, prayer and more support than you can imagine...Marissa

Anonymous said...

I am so proud of you two! Don't let anyone discourage you in this decision. This will be you real child and that's how you will love them and raise them! How wonderful for the child that has been chosen and how wonderful that they will have parents who realize they have been chosen as well! I wish I had the ability to help you all financially but unfortunately all I can do is support you with prayers. God bless you both! I hope things will go quickly and smoothly for you but if not, remember this: anything worth having is worth fighting for and the fight will only make you stronger!
Love you both!
Your "second mom"