Just needing to put thoughts on paper

Moments after laying down for bed a knock came at the door. I sprang to my feet, grabbed the nearest object / weapon and followed the barking dog down the hall to the front door. It's highly unusual that anyone comes over unannounced, especially late at night. When I opened the door I saw my parents, standing in the cold. For a moment I considered a million reasons why in the middle of the night my parents would be standing on my porch. I realized before they even spoke why they were here. As the words came out of my mother's mouth, it was as if someone had just set time to slo-motion. I sat there, silent for what seemed like an eternity as she proceeded to tell me that my grandfather had passed away. While it came as no true surprise, as he had been battling cancer and other ailments for years; I couldn't help myself from sitting in stunned silence numb to the world around me.

Growing up, I always cherished the time spent with my grandfather. Listening to his stories of years gone by, working with him on houses for less than minimum wage, feeding the chickens he kept in the barn I helped him to build. When my grandmother passed on several years ago a large part of him died as well. You could see it in his eyes. For years he patiently waited to be with her again and I know that he is there now telling her all about it.

It certainly makes you consider your own mortality when a generation of your family is gone. He was the last of my grandparents. I have always prided myself on how much of him I have in me. My red beard, my sense of humor, my love of story telling. Now those things seem a little more important. It pains me to know that my children will never know him but I will make sure that they hear the same stories that were repeated to me so many times over a pepsi. Through that, he will live on.

An overdue update

With the hustle and bustle of the holiday season I've broke my pledge to update in a timely manner. On Monday, we had our second home study meeting. All the hard work to make the home safe paid off and we passed with flying colors. So long story short, we have the blessing of the government to adopt an infant. As soon as our social worker left there was a long sigh of relief, followed by a joyous celebration, and then it was back to work. We have decided on a placing agency and now the process will begin anew to raise money, pray, and wait.

We have got over the first hurdle and are well on our way down the road. I don't think I could have asked for a better Christmas present than to have this part completed and that worry behind us.

Thanksgiving came and went rather uneventfully. As always, we ran around, ate more than one dinner, and got caught in traffic behind an accident. A fairly typical Thanksgiving for the Prather family. I'm looking forward to Christmas although I'll be working both Christmas eve and Christmas day. It seems like there is a more positive feeling to this years Christmas for me. Looking back a year ago, there was a good deal of hurt and self pity. I preferred to sit around and be sad about what we did not have and forgot to remind myself of the great things that I do. This past year has been a complete change. It's as if for the first time in a while, I'm reminded what a wonderful life ours truly is. And I didn't have to wreck my car and spend a night in the snow with an old man named Clarence to figure it out.

Before I end this blog I have to say to those celebrating the festival of lights. May you have a peaceful and joyous season. And if there are any latkes left over please send them my way.

A Great Big Thank You

We would like to thank everyone involved with the fundraiser. If you donated items, entered the raffle, spread the word on facebook or twitter, we can not thank you enough. We raised a good deal of money and got so much support from friends, family, and complete strangers. A very special thank you goes out to the Sartins who made all of it possible. From the beginning, the support has been phenomenal and we ask you to keep up the e-mails, phone calls, and prayers. They mean the world to us. It will definitely be paid forward.

So Many Questions

As you know our first home study meeting was today. This was the interview portion of the home study. After a long 2 days of finalizing everything, getting all our paperwork finished, and cleaning the house the meeting went much better than expected. Our social worker arrived right on time and was very nice. She put us at ease and talked with us about how her family went through a very similar situation to our own.

The interview was long, and we were asked many many questions. A lot of them I had thought of answers to but there were also a lot of questions I had not even considered. We had discussed discipline and a lot of the major things you'd think would be asked and had come up with what I considered good answers. When she asked what we would do with our child if something were to happen to us I had to say I'd think about it. I guess there are some things that you don't think about until it comes up. I suppose we'll have to figure a lot of things out pretty soon.

Everything seemed to go very well and the months of preparation definitely payed off. Now we just have to have one more meeting where we will have a counseling session and home safety inspection and this part of the process will be over. Our goal was to have to this portion done by the end of the year and it looks like we'll finish it up just after Thanksgiving. Now we can turn our attention to raising money and getting started with a placing agency. One hurdle down. Several to go.

In other news, the fundraiser being hosted at www.alexandcassie.blogspot.com is going very well. New prizes are being added and the support is incredible. Don't forget to check it out. Thanks for all the support.

-Joseph and Devin

Check It Out - Win Stuff . It's that Easy !

We have been blessed with some pretty amazing friends. Many of you know Alex and Cassie or have heard us talk about them and their son Sam. Despite an incredibly demanding schedule they find time to lend a helping hand. We couldn't ask for better people to call our friends.

Starting today on their blog, Cassie has created a raffle giveaway to help us raise money for our adoption. There are some pretty great prizes up for grabs. If you come across this blog please take a few minutes to check it out. The link is www.alexandcassie.blogspot.com
Also, I just want to say thank you to everyone who has left comments, sent e-mails, called, and especially those that have donated items to the giveaway. The support has been phenomenal and we are truly thankful.

Update with Picture's

As you all know the Home study meeting is next week. We are so excited and Nervous but ready for this step to be over with. From everything we've read adoption agencies want families to have their homes baby ready so we needed to start getting a room ready so we can be prepared for anything coming up. I have had my heart set on a Woodland creature theme for a long time now. We decided that a woodland creature theme would work out great for our room since we don't know if we will be getting a boy or girl and its very gender neutral.
Here is the Before and After of the room :

Before



After:








I am in love with the finished product. I can't stop going in there to look at it. We still have a few decorations here and there to put in later.
We won't be getting any more furniture anytime soon until we found out what age range we are approved for and of course what we need. The rocking chair came from Joseph's grandpa. I think he's going to try and refurnish it. Hopefully we'll have more updates soon.

Time has certainly gotten away from me. We have been so busy lately there hasn't been much time for things like blogging. We've been cramming as many things in to our days off as possible to get everything ready for the upcoming home study. Lovie had to be taken to the vet for an aggression test. I'm happy to report that she passed with flying colors. I have to admit, I had my concerns. She did an awesome job though, and really put on a show for the doc.

I had to get another FBI background check. That's the 2nd one this year. The tech taking our fingerprints said I was really good at it. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not. After feeling like a criminal for a while we got that taken care of and in the mail.

The only thing that we have left is our meeting with the CPA to get our taxes in order. This is really the biggie and we've definitely been putting it off. But seeing as our first home study meeting is a little over a week away it's time we get that done.

The first home study meeting will be November 2nd followed by a second meeting and actual home inspection . So in theory we can finally be turned over to a placing agency in the next month or so. It's exciting but then we'll have to figure out how exactly we're going to finance the rest of the adoption. Something on the order of $25'000 . I've been in contact with the plasma donation center and looking in to all other means of financing it. We're hopeful we can find a bank willing to take a chance on us. Otherwise, it might take a while. I'm confident that we'll get there. We just have to keep moving forward.

On a completely different and serious note. It's been interesting to see the reaction unfold from family and friends regarding our adoption. It upsets me when people feel sorry for us and ask our parents how we're coping with not being able to have a baby. When they don't want to tell us good news about them having a child because they're afraid that it will upset us. When the awkwardness is palpable at a family function because all of a sudden people don't know what to say to us.

What people don't understand is that we have CHOSEN to adopt a baby. There are other procedures, and tests, and doctor's appointments that we could do and possibly be able to have a child naturally..... possibly. We have already spent several thousand dollars and endured much heartache and worry over tests and procedures and doctors appointments over the last 2 years.

When we sat down and seriously discussed adoption for the first time it's like a weight had been lifted from both of us. It was something that both of us wanted, but didn't want to be the first one to mention. Since making that decision, it's amazing how much better things have been. The stress level is significantly lower. Our marriage is stronger. And there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Adoption is something that both of us have carried in our hearts for a while and for us, it is the right decision. I know there are people that disagree, and there are those that don't understand why we wouldn't continue to do everything we could to have one of our own. All I can say to them, is that they shouldn't be worried about us. Because we are happy with the decision we've made and believe me, we did not come to it lightly.

This could have been 2 different blogs, and probably should have been, but it's hard to think about one subject without the other coming into play. I know there's nothing that can be done about how people look at adoption. I understand that it puts people in an awkward position. I just wish that they could share in our happiness and excitement. And if they happen to have $25'000 laying around, be generous. LOL

That is all.