My Trip To The Andrology Lab (Part 2)

Wanting to be a responsible husband, I finally agreed to visit the andrology lab. Bright and early this morning I ventured downtown. I hate, no... loathe parking downtown for any reason. It's not like work when I can just pull up to the front door of the hospital. There's parking garages, pay lots, and parallel parking. I'm pretty sure I passed that part of my drivers test because he wasn't paying attention. Needless to say, I panicked when I couldn't find a good parking space and opted to park in the first garage I saw which was a good 15 minute walk from the lab I was headed to. At least the car was parked. I would be OK.

After making the trek to the lab, passing homeless and business types, Jews and Gentiles along the way I was pretty much out of breath. I realized I was pretty much jogging the whole way out of fear that one of those business types might try to get me to donate to charity. So, red faced and out of breath I went in. When I entered the small office on the seventh floor a petite elderly grandmotherly woman greeted me and had me fill out some paperwork. She looked more like a librarian than someone who dealt in sperm collection. I probably looked like an out of shape fat guy with emphysema but looks can be deceiving. I don't have emphysema.

During my wait I realized that the radio was playing a mixture of gospel and country music. Neither one my favorite but more tolerable than 50 cent I suppose. A song came on singing about "No one knows what goes on behind closed doors." It made me smile and think the subliminal messages are meant to calm me down. The other 4 or 5 men sitting in the waiting quarters were all peculiarly staring straight at the floor. I suppose eye contact would make them feel like everyone knew what they were about to do. I couldn't help but find the humor in it. I even tried to strike up a conversation and was met with awkward silence. I think one person laughed when I got called to the back and said to the crowd, "Wish Me Luck!"

I won't trouble you with the details of the next part of the story.

On my way home I kept thinking about what the librarian said to me on the way out the door. After taking the jar with no gloves on she said, "Looks good - long pause - have a nice day." It shook me a little.

The results came quicker than I could have imagined and essentially an IUI, or intrauterine insemination, seems to be our next step. At least the doctors are agreeing with each other. With time, luck, and money we'll get there. I know we will. My amazing wife has been through so much. Through high hopes and horrible disappointments, tests and procedures. We have endured. She is stronger than I ever knew and will make a great mother someday soon.

Why I tell you this now I do not know. I suppose full disclosure is my way of accepting the past and looking forward to the future. We will keep you updated, I promise. That is, if you're interested. If not, there's always YouTube. I'm sure you can go watch a monkey sniff his finger and fall out of a tree a few more times. Wish us luck and thanks for the support.