I need to mow the grass

If I could only have 2 days in a row without rain, my yard would be dry enough to mow. It's starting to look like I fit in with the neighborhood. Now I can't have that can I? People will start expecting me to have strange aromas coming from my shed at 2AM. And more than that, they'll expect me to have a big enough trash pile in my yard to not need a fence. And so on down the rabbit hole. I'll have to head this one off before it's too late and I have kids swimming in my drainage ditch. Aaaah, suburbia.... the American dream. I really need to mow my grass.